I’m a numbers guy. I believe in logic above all else and generally prefer to let math, chemistry, and physics explain all things. But I also have a creative side imbedded fairly deeply down in there somewhere. Whether it’s for balance, stress relief, the need to be heard, seen, or followed, the simple joy of creating something, to figure something out, or a desire to emulate great work by artists and craftspeople I admire, I’m always seeking ways to produce some kind of creative result.
I play the guitar because I like to write songs and make music. I take pictures because I love photography. I make home movies because I like the process of filming and editing. I think I’m decent at these things, but not great. I often read about technique, gear, creative processes of well established artists, and study their work (songs, photographs, movies, paintings, etc.) I spend too much of the balance of my creative time preparing, studying, planning, and less time actually doing.
Here’s where the excuses come in. I work full time in a “regular job”. I have a family. I’m working on my Masters degree at age 37. I try to exercise every day. I like video games. I like sitting on the couch watching football.
I’m also overly critical of my output. I’m a perfectionist. I project myself into a world alongside my aforementioned heroes, which is impractical. I don’t have fans, an audience, distribution, deadlines, clients, followers, or any plan to acquire such things. I make art, or whatever you want to call it, for me, but generally talk myself out of it before I get going. I make things too technical. I dwell on the limitations more than the possibilities. I discard before the revision is complete.
This blog is my therapy. It’s my avenue to share things I create. It doesn’t matter if no one ever knows. Whatever I put here can go right next to the tree falling in the woods. But this is another process to learn – the process of creating and getting over the fear of sharing. With growing comfort comes growing confidence, and I hope growing confidence leads to growing output. Once I post various odds and ends, it’s out there in the wind and I doubt too many eyes and ears will stumble upon any of it. If this blog is alive and well with content on a semi-regular basis, than I’ll have won the battle. Hence the mission, win the battle.